Letters to the Ex(Part 1):Self Blame

I would have cut my heart out my chest and gave it to you

Why don’t you want me ?

I’m not good enough ?

not pretty enough ?

Too skinny ?

My illness was too much ?

Was it the failed pregnancy ?

God knows I got on my knees and begged to keep our baby

I even cried out to him offering my life as a trade for our baby

I would’ve died so you could have laid eyes on our baby

Remember all of those nights of long talks

and laughs ?

Seemed so real but I must be missing something

Because how the hell could you love me but want this to end ?

Maybe because I feel too deeply

I dreamt of a wedding

A forever together

I should’ve  known better

Who could actually love me ?

The broken

Sick

Empath with such a dark past

Ever since I was touched as a kid my purity was taken

I was numb

My innocence gone

I became damaged goods

Unclean and thats all I’ll ever be

I confuse pain with love the more it hurts

The more it’s real

Being raised on survival actually broke me

Damn

I guess you’re better off without me

-RB