Gabriella

White man

Is it my dark skin that offends you?

My lush lips?

Wide hips?

My voluptuous ass swaying left to right as I glide down the sidewalk?

My long curly black hair flowing to the middle of my back?

Half Dominican

Half African

My ancestors know pain

They know struggle

And every time I am judged

Made fun of

Put down and even physically assaulted

I cry for them

I feel them enter my soul reminding me

My sadness is temporary

It’s like a soft whisper

“Cry now my child for this pain shall not remain”

What makes the white man so angry?

I’ll never understand

Were you taken from your country?

Shackled in chains to your brothers and sisters?

Did you have to watch your wives and daughters being raped?

Did you see your fathers and sons beaten or killed right in front of you?

You can’t begin to comprehend

Now sit back white people and listen to the story of an immigrant from the ghetto

All black neighborhood

Liquor store on every corner

Gun shots? Sometimes

Watching my own people die

And yet I felt safe

Biggest mistake my family ever made was moving into a neighborhood

Full of Caucasians

They thought we would be safer

They should have known better

I was only fourteen years old

Walking home in the snow

Left school early due to a cold

Snotty nosed and alone

Never knew a man’s touch

I couldn’t speak much English, but I shouted the word NO!

As this large white man pushed me to the ground

He stared me in my eyes and said over and over

“Your kind doesn’t belong here”

His face was red with rage

I blacked out

Just to feel free in my slumber

My poor father found me on the side of the road

Covered in blood

And unconscious

He was just on his way home

Back aching and half asleep from slaving all day

He broke down, seeing me like this

I was left outside naked for hours

I wonder how many people drove by?

How many heard me screaming?

I had three broken ribs

My vagina completely mangled on the inside

That devil took away more than my pride

He killed my ability to produce offspring

I’ll never forget those sinister blue eyes

His breath reeked of cigarettes

Sometimes I wonder why my story was ignored

Why don't I matter?

Why did my father kill himself six months later?

Why my mother became an alcoholic after daddy died

I buried her two years later

Guilt was the silent killer

My little brother crippled by drugs to escape

My big sister ran away to the army to escape

My little sister drinks and ends every night in the arms of a new man to escape

I’m blamed for the death of my parents

What a horrible fate

If only I could have fought him off to escape

Lord knows my ancestors felt this same way

I pray to God every night

Just pleading for a break

But every time I close my eyes

I see his face

-RB

From the book : Tales of a Broken Girl